"Always" Isn't Always Going To Be Perfect...

My best friend got married this past weekend!

She was stunning!
Her hair, her makeup, and her dress - perfect!

The bridesmaids wore coral and the groomsmen wore Converses!
The flowers, the music, and the ceremony - perfect!

Despite the brief early evening thunderstorm everything turned out beautiful
and God allowed mother nature to shine a striking rainbow overhead!
It was almost magical...and I've been told that seeing a rainbow on your wedding day is good luck!

True or not - I consider it a sign of great happiness from above!
...And Saturday was definitely a day full of happy hearts!

Professional Photography By:  Bow Tie Collaborative
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. . .

The reception was a celebration to remember!
Lots of laughs, smiles everywhere, and the dance floor was packed!
Just like the ceremony - everything was perfect!
My handsome husband even had on a matching tie!

 
Did I mention that I was Matron of Honor?!
...And, an honor it was!
It meant the world to me that I got to stand beside my best friend as she said, "I do!"
I tried my best to calm her nerves.
I tried to be with her every step of the way.
Making sure her makeup was flawless. 
Every hair was in place.
Her dress fluffed.
I wanted to make sure everything was PERFECT!

I had spent several hours preparing my toast to the bride and groom!
I wrote, erased, and rewrote at least ten times!
I read it over and over.
Rehearsed it - out loud - in front of the mirror.
It was going to be short and sweet and PERFECT!
Because, the last thing I wanted to do was this...

I had nerves of steel the entire day.

That is, until it came time for the bride and groom to cut the cake!

I could feel my temperature rising.

My hands were getting clammy.

My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.

"Pull it together," I told myself.

"Calm down and just breathe...it will be prefect," my pep talk continued.

 

The DJ handed me the microphone.

With a shaky voice, I introduced myself and greeted everyone.

...And then - my mind went blank.

My carefully written speech was in my hand.

...But I remember I suddenly felt too embarrassed to read it out loud.

The lump in my throat felt massive.

I starred at my best friend and her new husband, and proceeded with my toast the best that I could.

 

I have no idea what I said! 

However, I do know for a fact that I didn't say half of what I had planned to say.

Another fact - it was short and (hopefully) sweet! 

Needless to say, my toast was less than perfect...or the way I'd hoped it would be.

 

Some may be wondering why I shared my mishap...

Wasn't this about your best friend getting married?!

It is - and I promise that there is a point to be made!

. . .

 

The Best Man finished his toast and the music started to play again.

I quickly found my way back to the table, my husband, and my glass of wine!

I sat down and once again read that wrinkly, crumpled up piece of paper.

...And my own words, written for a different reason, hit home.

 

Good Evening -

 

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Judith, one of Melissa's best friends and her Matron of Honor.  I'd like to take this opportunity to once again congratulate the new Mr. and Mrs. Bowers!  You both look incredible - and happy!  ...And that makes me happy!  I've thought about this moment for a while and pondered over what exactly I wanted to say.  I thought about how I could elaborate on the fact that Missy and I have been friends for the past eleven years and how I love her dearly - like a sister.  But, that isn't what today is about...  Today is about the two of you!  The two of you beginning your lives together!  ...And even though I myself have only been married a short time - I've learned a lot and have some advice to share!

 

Remember that today and tonight is just the beginning of always!  ...And if I'm being completely honest - "always" isn't always going to be easy.  It isn't always going to be perfect.  Life can be hard.  Marriage can be hard. ...But both are so worth it!

 

Love each other.  Support each other.  Respect each other.  Believe in and encourage each other.  ...And communicate, communicate, communicate!  Being married doesn't mean you'll live a fairytale life.  Being married is two people facing life - and all the ups and downs - together.  Someone wise told Girard and I that we have to "give a little and take a little!"  ...And I truly believe if you do that - you'll be okay!

 

I'm so honored that you both allowed me to be a part of your special day!  I wish you both only the best - forever and always!

 

To Missy & Josh!

I love you both!     

For Better Or For Worse...

My last attempt at blogging (about wedding plans and preparation) failed miserably after only three posts!  Since then…I have in fact gotten married – to my best friend!  December 3, 2011 was the big day and it was pretty much everything I dreamed it would be!  I’d confidently say that Girard and I are crazy in love – most of the time!  Marriage has been a trial-and-error-learning experience, and just like any other married couple, we’ve had some ups and downs.  It’s all about what you make it, though! 

I think that when you’re planning your wedding and you think of the words, “for better or for worse,” it’s easy to only think about the “for better” part.  You are on cloud nine, in love, and life will be even happier once you’re married, right?!  …And of course that is true – in most cases!  However, for me, it was important that Girard and I were on the same page when it came down to dealing with the “for worse” part.  Why?  Because, if there is one thing I can guarantee to anyone – it’s that life will surely, at some point, throw the “for worse” part at you…it’s just a matter of when and how hard. 

Girard loves me – this I am sure.  He has proven it multiple times and ways.  Of course, it’s easier to love someone when they’re strong, fun, upbeat, positive, happy-go-lucky and generally a nice person.  I like to think that’s me most of the time – nowadays!  You see, when I look back at my life, I see it in two parts – before 2009 and starting again in 2011.  Girard knows my story, cover to cover…he knew it before he ever put a ring on my finger…and that speaks volumes to me.  He has been my back bone uncountable times…  He gives me emotional support when I need it, has helped me find logic in places I didn’t think it existed, and just generally keeps me grounded when my feelings threaten to drag me down into despair.  I’ve said since day one that he “gets” me…  That simple fact, combined with his unconditional love, respect, and understanding has been healing for me, it a lot of ways. 

“For worses” can and will definitely put a huge strain on a marriage, if allowed.  Maybe the “for worse” is something one partner brings into the marriage, something they’re dealing with from the past.  Maybe it’s unexpected financial changes, one partner suffering a medical crisis or illness, issues with relatives, etc.  The list could go on and on…and even though every one of them can threaten to pull a marriage and couple apart – it doesn’t have to.  I think having a positive support system is the key.  When I start to “fall” over, he stands strong…and vice versa.  If we both start to topple, we need to lean on each other – which ultimately prevents us from crumbling to the floor into a big mess…  …And that’s what I think can turn a “for worse” into a “for better”!    

I am so thankful, and grateful beyond words, that I have Girard in my life, and that he can be strong when I am weak.  <3