Dear Baby...

October 3rd will go down in history as one of the sweetest and happiest days of my life!

It was the day before you turned 15 weeks old.

It was the day we'd learn if God had given us a little boy or a little girl. 

We piled into the car with my momma and daddy, who you'll know as Mama Bird and Poppy, and your daddy's parents, your Mee Mee and Grand Dilly! 

Hurricane Joaquin was still spitting down rain, but off to Greensboro we went!

I can only compare my excitement that day to a child on Christmas morning! 

We weren't a minute into the ultrasound before we heard the words, "It's a boy!"

I cried!  Happy tears, of course! 

Your Mama Bird cried too! 

And, your daddy...I looked over at him and his eyes were glistening with joy! 

He later admitted that he had to fight the tears back hard! 

Sharing that experience with your grandparents is a memory we'll always cherish! 

On the way home from our celebratory dinner, your Poppy told me that seeing you had been amazing. 

I grabbed my tummy, leaned over and put my head on his shoulder, and said, "I know!" 

And then I said, "Daddy, guess what?!"

We both looked at each other and I said, "I'm having a little BOY!"

He chuckled and smiled and then said, "I know!"

 

This past Sunday you turned 18 weeks old! 

You are the size of a sweet potato, about five inches long.

We were sitting in church, the sermon had just begun, and little did I know that we were about to mark another milestone off of the list! 

It felt like a faint flutter or almost like a piece of popcorn had popped inside my tummy!
I sat there for a few minutes wondering and waiting...

And then, it happened again!

I had to swallow my squeals!

I nudged your daddy and whispered, "I think he is moving!"

He whispered back, "Who?" 

After I shot him a sideways glance his eyes got really wide and he smiled big! 

From that point forward I didn't hear a word the preacher said. 

I walked out of church beaming ear to ear!

 

I have felt you pop around every day since then too! 

It is the most amazing feeling in the world!  I smile every single time!

Every flutter reminds me that this is really happening!

That you really do exist.

That my dreams have come true.

And now I have tears in my eyes...

 

We learned that your ears are fully developed this week as well!

I wonder if you hear me.

Do you recognize my voice yet?

Can you hear me typing on the computer keys?

Can you hear all the conversations me and your daddy have about you?

We are having a hard time deciding on your name, so if you hear one that you really like...nudge me, okay?! 
Can you hear your big brother barking when he wants a snack?

How about the Christmas music I listen to everyday while I'm at work?

Did you hear me crying when I was sad about my grandma?

Could you feel me dancing around and acting silly the other day?

Can you taste the cheese and crackers I eat almost every morning?

What is it like in there? 
Are you going to someday say, "Mom.  These letters are weird."?

All I can tell you now is how we are spending our time while we are waiting for you.

And later, when you're a little older, you can tell us what life is like from your perspective.

I can't wait!

 

All my love,

Your Momma

Dear Baby...

 We've been together 13.5 weeks, you and I.
You are now the size of a peach, about three inches long.
Your tiny bones are still forming and your vocal cords are under construction.
The thought of hearing your voice for the very first time gives me chills up my spine!
I can't help but to daydream about all the conversations we will someday have.

The past few weeks floods of thoughts and feelings have rushed through me.
It's like a tornado of emotions.
One moment I'm calm, cool, and collected.
The next, my mind is spinning out of control.
I'm ashamed to admit that a few of my outburst and tears have been out of vanity.
There hasn't been a day go by that I'm not grateful to have you growing inside.
Trust me on this.  I am so very thankful.
However, coming to terms with the new shape of my body has been a little...hard.
I didn't really feel pregnant...and I didn't quite look pregnant.
Finding jeans that I could button and tops that didn't feel snug was becoming an everyday battle.

But then...when you were 11.5 weeks old, we saw you!
We saw your little heart beating.
We saw you waving your tiny little hands and kicking your tiny little feet.
I needed that moment.
I needed that validation.
There you were safe in my tummy after all the prayers and all the tears...
I think my heart grew three sizes that day.

In a few short days we will get to see you again!
Oh, your momma and daddy are so excited!
We will find out if you are a little she or a little he!
What will you be?!
The suspense is about your drive your momma insane!
Your daddy thinks you are a girl!
Some days I agree with him.  Others, my heart tells me different.
I had a dream, just last night...and you were the cutest little boy I'd ever seen.
Actually, this is now my fourth dream about you being a boy.
You had the prettiest eyes, a perfect smile, and gorgeous blonde hair.
You were wearing the cutest pair of blue jeans and you were running around in the yard with your big brother.
Oh...my heart...I just don't know if it can take it!
The tears...I can feel them coming again.
Actually, it might be another mini flood heading my way.

The love that I already feel for you is overwhelming.
I just don't ever want to miss a second of your life.
The fear of not being able to protect you could just swallow me whole.
Every night, I try to hand it all over.
He knows my momma heart.
He hears my prayers...
I have to remember that before you were mine...you were His.

All my love,
Your Momma

Dear Baby...

This week you are the size of a raspberry.  Last week, a blueberry.

I'm amazed at how quickly you are growing and changing daily.

I'm afraid I may blink...and tomorrow I will be sending you off to college. 

But, for now...you are tucked safely in my tummy; small and completely unaware of all that's waiting for you on the outside.  At some point we were all in your position. 

Maybe in some ways we still are...completely in the dark about what is to come. 

How intimidating.  How thrilling!

 

Your daddy and I, along with many others...have been praying for you for a very long time.

From the moment I saw those two little pink lines staring back at me, I have loved you.

I daydream about who you will be.  

I wonder about what you will look like. 

Will you have green eyes like me and your daddy?

I hope you inherit your daddy's skin!  I've always been so jealous of how easily he tans.

Hopefully you don't inherit my bad temper or your dad's bad spelling.

I think about names and what we will call you.

I pray that you have a tender heart and an open mind.

I pray that you'll love Jesus and always be kind to others.

I just pray for you to be happy and healthy.

You just have no idea how much I already love you.

 

Oh, and your big brother...he is something else.

Do you know that he knew about you before we did?

He hadn't been acting himself and had been super protective and extra clingy.

He sure did have us worried.

After we found out about you...it all made sense.

I keep telling him that everything is alright.

But, I think he is still a little confused.

I know though, without a doubt, that once he meets you...he will love you just as much as I do!

 

All my love,

Your Momma