Thursday, July 31, 2014

It Could Always Be Worse...

"It could always be worse.  You could have diabetes or cancer."

Words said to me today...

Yes, it is true.
Yes, I agree.
Do I need to be reminded of it? - No.
Does it make me feel better in this moment? - No.

I know people mean well.
I know they are just trying to be encouraging...

But, if I'm being downright honest, statements like that just make my head want to spin around backwards.

I don't need to be reminded that things could be worse.
I don't need to be reminded that someone else has it worse.
I was just sitting in a waiting room today surrounded by people who are battling cancer...
I KNOW it could be worse.

I read a quote once that said something along the lines of:

Telling someone that they can't be sad because someone else has it just like telling someone that they can't be happy because someone else has it better...

My family has been through a lot in the past three weeks.
A lot of scary moments.  A lot of happy moments.
A lot of moments to process...

As far as my health is concerned, I've been pretty upbeat through this whole ordeal.
Today...I didn't get bad news.
But, I didn't really get good news either.
I will take blood thinners indefinitely.
Babies may or may not be in the cards for me and G.
There is still a lot of unknown...
Again, it is just a lot to process. 

I left the doctor's office upset, discouraged, and scared about the future...
This is my reality right now. 
This is how I feel right now.
And I think that is okay...

Right now I need time to wallow in a little bit of self pity and to love on my puppy...because that always makes me feel better!
Tomorrow is a new day and I will be fine.

Day by day...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I Can Only Imagine...

Girard is relaxing on one end of the couch while I'm curled up on the other.
Teddy is resting on the floor right by my side.
As the much needed rain pitter-patters outside I've been thinking, reflecting, and looking back through
some of the pictures I've taken...when this thought occurred to me:

If God makes beauty like this in my backyard, can you imagine what Heaven will look like?!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Who Rescued Who...

Five years ago not much could make me happy. 
Most days I was doing good just to put one foot in front of the other. 
In the midst of the sadness, anger, and tears
I remember one thing that could always put a smile on my face…
Our family pet, my "baby brother", Duke.
I mean, who can't muster up a grin when in the presence of an adorable puppy?!
He was tiny, clumsy, and had ears soft as velvet.
As he grew - so did my love for him.  I needed him.

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness
they didn’t even know they had.”

Fast forward to December 12th, 2013 - and Teddy Bear did just that.
Again, he was tiny, clumsy, and had fur the same color as the hair on my head!
The moment I first saw him, I just knew in my heart that he was supposed to be mine.
Sweet, sweet Teddy.  He was a bundle of indescribable happiness!
I had never had a dog that was all mine before.
And, I'm not going to lie...the responsibility scared me at first.
But, I have found that I love having something to care for.
Here you have this living, breathing creature that depends on you for literally everything.
Feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up after them...
Opening the doors and throwing tennis balls for them...
(And for retrieving said tennis balls when they get stuck under the coffee table!)
Teaching them that the roads are bad and ice cream is good...
Taking them on adventures...
Caring for them.  Protecting them.  
And most importantly - loving them.

When you think about it, there isn't a whole lot your dog could do without you...

But the return.  Oh, the return...
A stillness in your soul.
Unconditional love in your heart.
A smile on your face.
And, sunshine on a cloudy day!

I don't think there is any question as to who rescued who...
“The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, 
the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.  
He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer. 
He will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world.  
When all other friends desert, he remains.” 
– George Vest
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